someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
