It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I could fuck to npr.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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