I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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