I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
