Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
