i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize