Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
