How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
