I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
