I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
