Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
