Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
