The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Terrible idea I love it
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
