Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
