thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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