I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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