It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize