You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
