on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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