yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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