Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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