bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
