Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
