My brain says no but my pants say off.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
