so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
