Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
