another moral hangover. fuck.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
