i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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