Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I currently don't understand fingers.
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