I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
