ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
