how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
