walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize