Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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