I wanna bring you to show and tell
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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