It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
