Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
