tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
