The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
