Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
