Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He shit in the fireplace
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