She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
