There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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