farters have to be the big spoon...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
