he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My penis needs a shock collar
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
