and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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