Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
