their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize