Dual....:-)
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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