Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
