You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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