Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
