Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
