Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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