So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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