he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
