i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize