i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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