Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Your penis caused this!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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