i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Still dying that you shit outside
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
