ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
