so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm really busy with my period
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