Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We are all done wearing pants today
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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