Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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