They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
