So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize