last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
