New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
