I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
