Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
