Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
